"You're having dinner with me!"

A couple of months ago, Rose Duncan posted a list of "10 Tips for Starting in the QHSE Function." It's a good list; by all means check it out. What particularly impressed me is that, besides the business-oriented topics ("Identify key issues," "Align with the organization," and so forth), Rose prioritized some fundamental, relationship-building goals. "Build relationships with everyone" "Ask questions and learn." "Get to know the stakeholders and their perceptions." These topics are easy to overlook for Young Professionals in a Hurry. But they can spell the difference between reasonable success and abject failure.

Years ago I learned this point in the most unforgettable way. Let me set the stage: I was working for an American company that had recently been acquired by a large European one. The Acquiring Company had two American offices (us and one other); we were in different states, and didn't interact much. But my boss—who had been sent out from the Home Office in Europe—was responsible for the Quality function in both. He stayed on the job until both offices got our initial ISO 9001 certifications, and then accepted a promotion into a totally new role. I was selected to take his place, managing the Quality function in both offices. So shortly after my promotion, I took a trip to visit the other office for the first time—just to meet people and let them get to know me.

When I got there, my reception was ... polite but very subdued. Nobody said much, and at first I was left alone a lot. After I asked around, people slowly began to explain that my former boss had made a lot of enemies during the 12 months that he had been driving the ISO 9001 program. Time and again he had gotten into arguments with the people responsible for one function or another, insisting that things had to be done this way and not that way. When anyone tried to push back that they'd been doing it successfully the other way for years, he was implacable: they had to do things a certain way in order to get ISO certification, and ISO certification was a corporate directive, so they could just go argue with the Company President back in the Home Office if they didn't like it!

That was the act I had to follow. No wonder nobody wanted to talk to me.

Then one afternoon a woman came striding up to me and introduced herself as the Customer Service Manager. "Are you the new Quality Manager? The one replacing ——?"

"Yes, I am."

"You're having dinner with me!" It was not a request.

Then she explained that my predecessor had left such a bad impression that she figured the only way she and I could ever work together is if we started off with something pleasant like a nice dinner. Also she was something of a wine specialist, and she knew just the place.

It was a lovely dinner. We talked about a lot of things outside of work. We even began—slowly, gingerly—to talk about work itself. I explained my approach to Quality management: that it has to be pragmatic; that no company ever earned a dime by following a documented process; that Quality just means getting what you want; and that all the formal techniques in the world are just gimmicks to help get you there. I may even have shared some of my thoughts about whether ISO 9001 compliance is really worth it. (This was a long time ago, so I don't remember if I got that far.) 

By the end of the meal we were on the same side. And in the long run I was able to work with that office very successfully for many years.

I'm not sure that many Quality departments would be willing to expense candlelit dinners with good wine in the name of stakeholder engagement.* But one way or another it is critical to meet your stakeholders where they are, and to let them see that you are all on the same side.

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* Actually, even though I was the one on travel at that point, she insisted on covering the meal. She argued, just as I remarked above, that the Quality department probably wouldn't cover it. I wasn't sure I understood: "You mean Customer Service will?" She smiled. "Before I was in Customer Service I worked in Sales. I've learned everything there is to know about how to get expense reports through the system." 😀